Suzanne joined TikTok at the age of nine, following several of her friends into the digital wilderness. Since her parents had no idea she was using social media, hiding her online life required about as much effort as hiding vegetables under mashed potatoes. In fact, she found the whole operation rather exciting. While her mother prepared dinner and her father was still commuting home, Suzanne carved out a daily social-media shift between 4:00 and 5:30. After successfully lobbying for a phone in fourth grade—”Only for emergencies at school, Mom!”—she expanded her operations by heading to bed early each night, where she spent the next three hours scrolling beneath the covers like a tiny CIA agent illuminated by a glowing screen.
Suzanne was caught once at ten and again at twelve, but her parents responded with the kind of discipline that says, “We’re serious about this…for approximately seventy-two hours.” Her phone was confiscated for three days each time, and on day four she resumed her online activities. She simply became more sophisticated, learning to recognize the subtle warning signs of approaching parental footsteps. Meanwhile, her parents remained convinced that Instagram and TikTok were harmless diversions that could never compete with the powerful influence of family values. Surely, if they said “No” Suzanne would respectfully comply. After all, what teenager has ever ignored parental instructions?
By thirteen, Suzanne had successfully upgraded her negotiating skills. She persuaded her parents to help her obtain a credit card—again invoking the magical phrase, “Only in case of an emergency at school, Mom!” Soon she was confidently navigating PayPal and Venmo, purchasing harmless treasures such as stuffed animals and small gadgets. Everything went smoothly until she forgot one important rule of covert online shopping: remember what you’ve ordered. When a package arrived at the front door containing a decorative glass bong—advertised online as the perfect bedside accessory—, Suzanne’s mother happened to be the one who accepted delivery. The resulting discovery produced a level of parental shock that no school emergency had ever managed to achieve, followed shortly thereafter by tears, disbelief, and what was likely a very long family conversation.
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From our first posting:
“As parents and teachers, we need to reclaim our traditional role as influencers of our children – not by shouting louder than the influencers our children discover online, but by stressing ideas that are more important than fancy shoes and snappy TikTok tunes. We need to emphasize traits that everyone agrees children will honor. We need to convince our children that the people who are most important to them have a better understanding of what it takes to be successful in life.”
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